Despite what the Merchant family will tell you, Hell IS eternal. Time has no meaning, and natural laws do not apply. Most of the time. But, the key to this realm also happens to be one hell of a protector, should the need arise. The Box Puzzle. If you can solve the configuration in the proper manner, you can enter, and exit with little or no harm to your person. Solve it the wrong way... you're fucked.

This is not a tale of the Time Guardians, although they do get one hell of a laugh out of it, every time Pooch or Princess recounts how Pinhead got screwed by a couple of teenagers. Pooch and Princess also got screwed, but not to the same extent. They were banished back to Hell none too worse for their encounter, Pinhead spend an aeon or so fixing his face thanks to the teenagers in questions.

Shall we begin?

"A babysitter?" Andy Hershey wailed, and his mother gave him her best harridan glare. "I'm fourteen! I don't need a babysitter!" He stamped his foot in exasperation, which firmly cemented the babysitter in place.

The doorbell rang, a sickly squawking sound that always reminded Andy of a duck being stepped on. His mother left the room, and went to the airlock, thumbing the access pad and opening the airlock. A EP-suited figured stepped inside, and, as the door hissed shut behind, removed helmet and shook out her curly purple locks. "Thanks for coming on such short notice, Silin." Andy's mother said as the babysitter set her helmet aside.

"No problem," Silin replied, her solid blue eyes making it hard to tell where she was looking. "It was either this or staying home while my stepdad tries to fix the microlaser oven. The last time he tried, he short-circuited something and shut down the atmosphere processors." A small giggle escaped, a little stress on Silin's part. Busting the atmosphere processor had been the least of it. He'd also damaged the structural integrity field, and almost popped the lot of them in vacuum. He was bent on self-destruction. That would teach Silin's mother for marrying a human.

"I really have to go. The ambassador's shuttle is docking at upper Pylon four in sixteen minutes. There's a number for you to call if anything goes wrong, and some munchies in the cryo-fridge." Andy's mother zipped up her EP suit, shook Silin's hand, and left the unit, the airlock hissing shut and sealing after her.

"Andy?" Silin said, walking down the short hall to Andy's bedroom. She knocked on the door. Through the double-shielded door, Silin could hear the sound of speed-techno music blasting from Andy's quad-stereo. She shrugged. Teenagers. True, she was one herself, but it seemed that human males matured so much slower than Reticulan females. She shook her head and went back to the den. She sat down in the form-adjusting sofa and picked up a vidmagazine. She thumbed the access switch, and started reading about the Jupiter Mining Core's last station disaster.

Three years ago, Standard Galaxy Time, JMC's most productive station was hijacked by the designer. The designer let the crew go back to Earth, then destroyed the station, killing four members of the Coast Guard in the process. He was now on the Pluto Correction Facility, serving sixteen life sentences. Killing a member of the Coast Guard was a serious offense.

Silin shook her head again, marveling at Earther's seemingly constant run of bad luck. Zeta Reticuli's only back luck seemed to be contacting Earth. "Bug-eyed aliens!" a young male voice shouted, startling Silin. "Call the Colonial Marines!" she turned, a slight frown on her face. Andy.

"Ha ha, very funny." she growled.

Andy laughed and walked away, trying to hide the fact that Silin's very presence turned him on. He was indignant that his mother had called a babysitter, but was glad it was Silin. Silin was so pretty. Green skin, blue eyes, purple hair, and a body that wouldn't quit. Reticulans were identical to humans in their physical appearance, except their coloration was different. The similarity ended there. There were stronger, faster, and smarter- with minor telepathic abilities- than humans.

Andy sighed, and went back to his room. Once inside, he slumped onto his airbed, and picked up the weird puzzle he'd found in the lost and found at school. He'd been doodling on his console, and the roboteacher had caught him and sent him to the office. On his way down, he'd stopped at the lost and found, curious to find a new toy, and found the puzzle. He'd taken it, saying to the computer that it was his, and then gone on with the day. Now, he had it at home, and nothing would stop him. It was quite old, wooden, with gold pieces, and Andy was determined to solve it.

Silin put the magazine down and followed Andy. She leaned on the doorframe, looking into his room. It looked like a hardware store. Hammers, nailguns, saws, sonic screwdrivers, and less identifiable tools lay scattered everywhere. Andy was somewhat of an inventor. Architect maybe. He built the most marvelous things. Now he was sprawled on his bed, playing with something.

Silin felt a rush of psychic energy go through her. Something was WRONG, in a major way. She stepped forward, her eyes fixing on the strange puzzle in Andy's soft human hands. THAT was what was wrong. Another wave of psychic energy. Without thinking, Silin reached forward and batted the box out of Andy's hands, just as the gold circle in the center split open like a strange flower. The box flew through the air, and as it did . . .

Black chains, each ending in a hook, belched out of the tiny opening, rushing through the air, towards Andy. Silin grabbed Andy under the arms and yanked him backward out of the room. As she did, one of those hooks sunk into the emerald flesh just above her wrist. She let go of Andy as the chain tightened, pulling her forward.

"SILIN!" Andy shouted as blood the color of mercury jetted out of the wound. Silin twisted on the end of the chain like a fish on a hook- which is essentially what she was- showing how strong she really was. She stopped her advance towards the still-harmless-looking puzzle by grabbing the edge of one of Andy's steel worktable. The hook jerked out of her flesh and vanished into the puzzle, a small chunk of her skin in its hungry clutches.

Blue light exploded out of the viewport in the far wall- which usually showed part of the station with the massive arc of the Earth in the background- bathing the two young sentients in its evil glow. Silin had fallen to her knees when the chain had released her, and Andy knelt beside her as she clamped one hand around her wrist and over the nasty gouge in her flesh. "What the hell is going on?" she asked, pain etching her voice.

"Exactly." a voice behind them, older than Evil itself. Andy turned, trying to shield Silin. A monster, a demon, a goblin stood before them, out of a fetishist's nightmare. Dressed in black leather, her skull bared and her scalp wired to her shoulders, she was still lovely, in a dark sort of way. "I am the Princess, I am Angelique. You have summoned me from Hell, delicate playthings." In her fingers, she held that piece of Silin's arm, her fingers stained with the silver liquid Zeta Reticulans called blood. She held the piece to her lips and tasted that spicy liquid of life. "Mmm," she closed her eyes, savoring Silin's taste. "Such a flavor! I shall enjoy learning the frailties of your flesh."

Silin swallowed hard. "This is disgusting." she said in a low voice. Andy stood up, and placed a shaking hand between Angelique's white, leather clad breasts. He shoved backwards, and Angelique staggered into the hall. "Up yours, you skaggy hellbitch." he said in an even voice, as Silin got to her feet behind him. He reached to the side, his hand closing over something hidden by the edge of the doorframe. His hand came back into the light, clutching a wire cutter. Angelique's eyes widened as Andy rushed forward, wire cutters thrust forward, There was no question what he intended to do.

A chain leapt from the box, past Silin, to sink into Andy's shoulder and halt his advance. He yelped, his voice young and pained. The chain began to reel him back as another figure stepped out of the shadows in Andy's closet. Another being clad in black leather, his face and head studded and pierced with a myriad of nails. "Merchant was wrong. Hell is Eternal." the demon murmured. He smiled at Silin. "A new race, a new flesh. New memories, new pains." He glided forward, intent on Silin.

Her blue eyes narrowed. Direct combat was out of the question, one punch, and her hand would be useless. His thoughts were too alien for her to grasp, so frying his brain was out too. But Silin would not back down. "Mine is a warrior species." she replied, her voice steady as a rock. She reached out and grabbed the chain sunk into Andy's flesh and yanked it out, wincing at the cry she elicited from her charge. She reeled in a section of the chain, and swung it around. "Eat this!" but the chain did not hit him, instead vanishing as if it had not existed. "Shit." Silin backed off, bumped against the worktable and a hammer fell into her hand. A weapon she could use. She sprang forward, hammer outstretched. The demon's eye's widened as she tackled him.

Andy meanwhile, fought off waves of pain. Silin had released him from the puzzle's grasp, but now Angelique was after him. He staggered back into the room as Silin fought with the other demon, pounding his nails into his head. He tripped over something, falling on his ass. It was the box puzzle. Angelique approached as he scooped up the puzzle. It had brought the monsters, it had to send them back. He studied the box intently and fearfully as Angelique giggled like a demented schoolgirl and Silin screeched at the other demon in her native tongue. It had reverted to a puzzle, the chains gone.

Something growled.

Andy looked up, into the face of the UGLIEST dog he had ever seen. A dog, a pig, a skeleton, a man? Whatever it was, it's fangs chattered and dripped slime, breath with the stench of Hell itself, it seemed to stare at him and wonder how he tasted. The puzzle clicked, and Andy held it up. The dogpig back up a step. . . citrine energy exploded out of the puzzle hitting the dogpig, and vaporized it. "Eat your hearts out Colonial Marines." Angelique screamed as the energy hit her next, and she too was gone. "Silin, back off!" Andy shouted, and Silin sprang away, hammer clutched in her hand, smeared with her blood and whatever ichor flowed in the monster's veins. The monster staggered to its feet, half of its nails driven into its face, set flush with the skin. One eye stared from its socket.

"Child, you shall pay for that, and enjoy paying. And when you have paid beyond human endurance-"

Silin spit on the floor, interrupting the demon. "I ain't human, shithead."

Andy pointed the puzzle at the demon. "See you in the funnypages."

Energy screamed into the demon, and it vanished. The room was normal, safe.

"Well, wasn't that fun. This job is definitely worth that ten credits an hour." Silin said, and they both laughed.

For Now, Space is Space Again, where No One can hear you Scream.

But Hell waits, For the Chance to Make You Hear.