The Time Guardians were created an eon ago by the Great Power, to watch over the myriad of dimensions in creation, and to keep the balance between good and evil continuous. Needless to say, they didn't always work for Good. In order for the balance to remain, well... balanced, sometimes, the TC (abbr.) would work for the other side. TC Agents didn't always enjoy it, but Reality must remain constant.

This tale concerns a relatively new Agent, TCAgent Rachel Cartright, TCA# 145 962 00C. She was given the assignment of protecting Hell from the Stranger. The Stranger was number One on the TC Most Wanted. It (no one was sure if Stranger was male or female, no one had ever lived long enough to find out) went around, killing high-ranking members of both Good and Evil. And it was rumored that Pinhead, one of the Cenobites, was its next target.

Pinhead was a royal pain in the ass (in more ways than one), but as long as he managed to retain his position so high up in Leviathan's private army, he was to be protected. How Rachel managed to end up pulling this shit detail, she'd never know. Her mother was up in the Angel ranks, for hamster's sake! And her father was second in line for Sorcerer Supreme, and here was Rachel, golden girl and rising star in the TC, stuck down in Hell, watching the leather-clad behind of Pinhead.

Maybe it was because of that time she accidentally sent that Demon Knight to the second level of White Light. Apparently, by the time he got back, there were sixteen knots in his tail- Angels could be downright mean sometimes. It was an accident! How was she supposed to know the Demon Knight was helping those vampires? It wasn't like he'd said anything. And Rachel knew, when a TCAgent was on the scene, all members, Above or Below were supposed to tell all. FULL DISCLOSURE. Hmmph.

There was a purple flash of light, and Rachel quarked into dim reality in the Labyrinth. She set the scanner on her wrist Return Module (RM) on high, looking for the telltale traces of Spectral Energy (SE) which would inform her as to whether or not the Stranger was sniffing around. The scanner hummed softly, and then the floating LED revolved up and showed her the SE chart. Normal readings, 6s and 7s. 6s and 7s were what Cenobites' normal energy output was. So, Stranger had yet to grace Hell with its dubious presence. The LED revolved into nonexistence, and Rachel stepped forward. Despite her dislike of Hell, she did know her way around. She knew where Pinhead's digs were.

She trotted along, absently checking her person SE power levels. 99 44 99 6. Right up there. Lucky for her, she didn't expend much power teleporting here. She didn't even have to pull a TimeJump (TCAgents often had to jump forward or backwards along the timeline, depending upon their location). She'd been at home, cursing her computer, and how slow the InterNet was, when her TC Beacon began to flash, filling her bedroom with its strobing purple flashes- each Beacon was different, Rachel's happened to be hidden inside a amethyst geode. She'd strapped on her RM- which contained a lot of technology, besides from her dimension coordinate navcomputer, scanners, and LED- and accessed the TC main computer. The TC main told her of Stranger, and its plans to negate Pinhead. And that she was the Agent assigned to protect Pinhead's sorry ass. "Lucky me." she muttered, and the rest, you already know. Anyway, her levels were high enough to allow her pretty much anything she needed to combat Stranger, so now...

Something hissed in the darkness, and Rachel saw the mutated outline of something scuttling along the upper half of the corridor, straight for her. She blinked slowly. She wasn't afraid. Her Personal Energy Field (PEF) remained down. The shape came closer, and Rachel could see snot-coated fangs gnashing in the dark. Closer. Rachel yawned. Closer. Eyes the size of saucers, staring viciously at her. Then, it was there, illuminated by the blue glow that laughing called itself light down here. The Tunnel Guard skidded to a halt when it saw the gray uniform of a TCAgent. It regarded the six-foot tall willowy redhead for a second, cogs in its brain working furiously. Then it recognized her, and held up a twisted claw. It's hideous mouth opened, and what barely passed for words exited from is tortured throat. "Saw-wee Way-chuulll. Did not weeaaan to a-hack oooo. Is wyyyy jo-buh." it grinned sickly. Rachel smiled. She liked Tunnel Guard. It was a sweet old soul. And it was right, it was just doing it's job. "Maw-stuh ith waiting foh ooo."

"Where, friend Tunnel Guard? And I accept thine apology. You are an honorable entity." She didn't always talk that way, old English, but it was expected. This wasn't the heat of battle, so standard formalities were to be duly observed. She shook the creature's deformed paw, and then Tunnel Guard turned blithely around, and led her towards Pinhead. "Maw-stuh in Great Haww." it continued, in it's fibrous, halting tones. Rachel had known Tunnel Guard for over fifty years (TCAgents age one year out of every one hundred they are employed) and had gotten used to the way it talked. Great Hall, huh? "Maw-stuh have young then-o-bite thew. Bad one. Oiled waww, make Tun-oo Gawd faww." Rachel blinked in surprise. One of the young Ones played a prank on Tunnel Guard?

Weird. Oiling the wall so Tunnel Guard fell? That wasn't a prank, that was stupid. Tunnel Guard was the Cenobites' last line of defense, and it was hurt, they could end up coming to serious harm. In Hell, they were vulnerable. Who knew what went on in some o the younger One's heads. "Are thou all right, friend Tunnel Guard?" she asked. Tunnel Guard nodded, thanked her, and continued on, chatting to her about all the interesting things it had found on its travels. Being a Tunnel Guard, it wasn't very smart, but Rachel didn't care, it was one of the few entities in Hell she could honestly say that she truly liked. They reached the huge bone and muscle-bound doors to the Great Hall. Rachel thanked Tunnel Guard, who nodded, bowed, and sauntered off, looking for something to do.

Rachel pushed one of the fifty-foot door open with little effort (TCAgents are ten to fifteen times stronger than the average human, and five times as strong as a Cenobite or other unnatural entity- and stepped into the massive cathedral-style room. It was a masterpiece of warped architecture. Rachel paused to admire the flying buttresses and intricately carved columns. Somewhere out there was a Cenobite with waaaaay to much time on its hands. She strode forward, across the black tile floor, careful not to step in the pools of blood and ichor that lay everywhere. Across the Great Hall, Rachel could see Pinhead, and cowering at his feet, one of the young Ones. As she got closer, Rachel could see that one of the young One's Ornaments had been pulled free, and was lying in a pool of black ichor a few feet away, cycling and clicking weakly. Pinhead must be really pissed. Closer, and Rachel could hear Pinhead's calm voice. "You are beyond this, Piston." he said calmly. Piston, huh? Rachel had heard of that one. Picked up when Pinhead went "shopping" in New York a few years back. Apparently, Piston was a real pain, and kept sneaking off to Reality to hassle virgins. What a colossal twit. "You will learn, over the eons of your pain, that ours is not to toy with our Tunnel Guards, but to experience the pains of the flesh."

"Master! Forgive me!" Piston wailed, and Rachel burst into semi-hysterical gales of laughter. Pinhead looked up sharply, laughter had no place in the Great Hall. But upon seeing the young TCAgent leaning against a statue of a skinned gargoyle, he relented. Now he could see Piston's joke. Forgiveness? In Hell? That is why the TCAgent laughed. Her tinkling giggles tapered off, and she approached Pinhead, contemptuously dismissing the cowering Piston. She blinked at Pinhead, and he knew who she was. Rachel. The one who was acquainted with Tunnel Guard. She was quite attractive, really. Shoulder-length red hair, high cheekbones, and piercing (no pun intended) blue-gray eyes. She was lean and willowy, but she looked like she could probably break Blubber in two with one hand. She could, actually.

"Yes?" Pinhead asked simply.

Rachel tried not to get miffed at Pinhead's condescending tone. It was just his way. "Agent 145 962 00C reporting for duty. It has come to our attention that you are in danger. And to preserve the Balance, I have been sent to protect you." She stood at attention. Pinhead frowned.

"Me? In Danger? Who would dare?"

Rachel resisted the impulse to smack him one. Nails or no, he deserved it. "Stranger." she replied.

Pinhead jerked as if he'd been slapped. Stranger? "Stra- " he began, and then the entire eastern wall of the Great Hall blew in with a dull coughing roar. Hunks of rock and worse shot towards the startled Cenobite. Rachel acted, moving with speed given to her by over four hundred years of field work and extensive combat experience, stepping around Pinhead and activating her PEF. It glowed brightly green as rock and debris spanged off the shield.

"Stay back!" she snarled. Well, that was fast. Maybe there was something to that rumor of there being a leak in the TC. How else would Stranger have gotten here so fast? The rocks finished falling, but Rachel kept the shield up as the hulking figure of Stranger walked into the demolished chamber.

"Oh shit." Pinhead said softly.

Stranger was huge, maybe eight feet tall. It had long, twisted arms ending in multi-jointed claws, like those acid-blooded aliens Rachel had tangled with once. In fact, that's pretty much what Stranger looked like, body-wise. Hard black-red shell. Clawed arms and legs. Spined scorpion tail, vertebrate clearly visible. But it's face! It was horrible. Peeled and muscles exposed, the gruesome death's head arched back, sending out a torrent of ghoulish laughter past knitting-needle fangs and double split snake tongue. Rachel snarled, leveling her right arm. Around it formed the sleek armored laser gun that was a TCAgent's main weapon. "Eat this!" she growled, and fired. A beam six inches across belched out of the muzzle, shot across sixty yards of ex-Great Hall, and hit Stranger in the center of its chest. The results were spectacular. Gray blood erupted out of the hole in its exoskeleton, and its laughter was cut off mid-note. It grabbed at its chest and started forward. In a matter of seconds, it had crossed the distance, and then, before Rachel realized what was going on, Stranger smacked her aside like her shield wasn't even there. It grabbed Pinhead by the throat in one of those huge hands and lifted the surprised Cenobite off the floor. Rachel picked herself off the ground, and dashed towards Stranger. That blast should have vaporized it! It was so strong! As she covered the distance back to Stranger, Hell finally reacted to the intruder, and a myriad of fleshhooks leapt out of the shadows and impaled Stranger. Or at least, they tried. Most of the hooks bounced off the armored hide and vanished back into nothing. But some struck home, yanking on Stranger's face and the wound in its chest. It wailed, and dropped Pinhead. "Run!" Rachel shouted, and Pinhead scurried away. Rachel tackled the creature, driving it to it's knees. She jammed her gun into it's face. "Let's see how you survive with one frigging eye, dipshit!" she growled, and fired. One of those glowing orbs exploded in a shower of yellow fluid and Stranger shrieked, tossing her off. She bounced to her feet, spinning to face Stranger. And that ruined, stretched face looked... familiar.

"Frank..." Pinhead managed from the sidelines.

Rachel frowned, accessing her memories. Frank was One Who Got Away. Briefly. Looks like he got away again. Which meant... all his power had been siphoned off Pinhead. And if he killed Pinhead, he would die. Which is exactly what Frank wanted, to be released, into nothingness. "Come to Daddy, " Frank snarled at Rachel. Rachel narrowed her eyes. The LED revolved up showing her she had a half her power reserves left. Two shots, maybe three, and she'd be out of power. And if Frank wasn't dead by then, then she and Pinhead would be.

"Eat shit and die, you wet end." she growled, and Frank hissed furiously. Rachel backed off. She had to make these shots count. Had to find Frank's weak points, if there were any. She shifted visual spectrums. The energy umbilicals between Frank and Pinhead throbbed with malignant life. THERE. There was Frank's weak point. She aimed at the connections, modifying the beam so it would disrupt those connections. "Keep you head down, Pinhead!" she shouted, and Pinhead hunkered lower behind the remnants of the statue he was hiding behind. Frank realized what she was doing, his mouth cracking wide to shout as she aimed. She fired, and the connectors erupted away from each other in a blue detonation. Frank wailed as his power supply was abruptly severed. Clearly, he wanted to die, but not like this. Only AFTER Pinhead was dead. Rachel reset her gun for one final blast, and turned back to Frank. His power gone, he was rapidly reverting to his natural, human form. His... human form. Now that his armor was gone, more fleshhooks streaked in, digging into his soft unprotected flesh. But no, the hooks merely held him. Their minimal collective intelligence knew, the kill was Rachel's. When Frank was immobilized, Rachel stepped forward. She had to know. "Why did you kill everyone?" she asked.

"Why not? " Frank managed. "Pinhead kills, so do I. And I will kill... you!" he reached towards her with one bloody hand.

Rachel fired into Frank's face, watching it, and his body disintegrate into dust. The fleshhooks fell away, and Pinhead withdrew from his hiding place. Rachel snorted in distaste, and deactivated her gun.

Pinhead held something out to her. It was a miniature gold box puzzle, on a silver chain. "Thank you, honorable Agent. You have saved that which was lost."

Rachel put on the necklace. She bowed. "Thou art welcome," a pause, "...friend Pinhead."